Monday, April 5, 2010
Hey you lot!!
Joel decides to updatee and praise God for a lovely testimony he has created in my life.
Lately, Ive been to an eastercamp!!
In coonawarra!!
not that you guys know where that is.
Anyway, some background details
1) I was asked to cell lead in the camp
2) Its an OverseasChristianFellowship Camp where different OCF centers all around victoria, Australia come together for a God focused camp.
3) Chase is not a real name, it is to keep my friend's name in confidence.
So heres how the story goes... ...
I guess at first I was so focused on wanting to be a good leader, and some1 who could just give and make an impact on the lives of my group members that I forgot to go to camp with an expectant heart, one where i wanted to recieve from God.
So, when during center sharing they were like. Joel, what are you expecting to get out of this camp, I was like... huhhhh... ermmm.. i dont know??
Lol.
So i decided to refocus myself on God instead of the people in my group, afterall, how could God impact lives through me if I was the one trying to impact lives and not let him work through me?
And i realised that thats what i really wanted from God in this camp, to see him working through me to touch the lives of others, and to see him just move so strongly in the camp.
But as i looked around, I realised something so different from the easter camp i had back in 2007 when i was in trinity.
These people had gotten so comfortable, so cold towards God.
They werent completely surrendering themselves to God, moving out of their comfort zones to just praise him.
And that prevented him from moving in our midst.
This reallyreally frustrated me, because they paid money to come to this camp, they came all the way to move away from the hustle and bustle of life to just spend time alone with God and in the end, they arent going the full way to want to see God move.
It was so bad, it sharted to affect my own experience with God, along with a bunch of other burdens I carried during that camp.
Then on the second day, my friend Jeremy, last min asked me to help him to backup sing on stage.
I was like.. ohhh ok....
but inside i was super scared... my voice isnt really the best in the world. and itll be like.. my first time on stage singing in front of so many people.
But praise God, everything went smoothly, as we just focused on God and not the people around the room. There were a couple of hiccups but nothing major and everyone said we did a good job afterwards.
Then came center sharing on the second night. And as i shared with my friends about my frustrations with how people were holding back, and refusing to move out to give themselves fully to God, I was struck by my own inhibitions when i was on stage. And i revised my statement, telling my friends that I ad no right to feel angry at them, because I guess, I also experienced what they did, having to try and move out of my comfort zone to 'perform' in front of so many people.
So, I guess i grew more desperate for God, and, especially on the night of ministry (3rd night) during praise and worship, I just completely surrendered myself to God. I decided not to focus on how the people were not surrendering themselves, and focus on him himself. That just made me surrender myself even more. And it was a beautiful beautiful thing, because that spread to a few others around me as well. Then we were called to pray for one another, so I got hold of my friend beside me, Chase, and started to just pray for her.. I knew that God had put her beside me for a reason. I prayed for total surrender, and for God to just be the center of our focus. But we hadnt finished praying yet when the next song started to play, Hosanna. So we just continued to support each other and held on to one another as we sang with all our hearts.
And after a few minutes, she fell to her knees, crying.
I guess, even then i didnt know what to do, I was like, should i pray for her, or should i just continue in worship?
So i just laid my hands on her, to show i was there to support her, but i just continued in worship... And again and again i felt prompted to pray for her.. but i resisted, just like jonah resisted and ran from God's call for him.
But the promptings kept coming, and, when some1 came over to her, I felt guilty that I hadnt prayed for her and now some1 else would.
But that person just offered her a tissue, and left.
And i was stunned. So i took the opportunity, and finally went to pray with her.
And i knew just the right words to say, I prayed for breakthrough, for our biggest tragedy to become our biggest victory, for God to make a way where there seems to be no way, I prayed using psalms 23, I prayed for his omnipresence and his always being with us and carrying us through our trials and temptations. And I prayed and thanked God for the beauty of the complete surrender of her soul to him.
Later on, I saw that not many people had been moved by God, and many had become bored with prayer and had moved outside to go out of it. And again I was displeased.
On the bus going back home, I sat next to a friend called JoonHui, and as he started to talk to me about his experience with camp, and how it was such a blessing to him and how he treasured it because it may not have been great, but it was still something, because he had been running from God for manymany years prior to this, I was struck by his testimony, and i was ashamed at how selfish I was. I expected things from God that he chose not to do. I had prayed for him to move into the camp even when people had hardened their hearts, and i had been disappointed whe they had not, I had focused on my wll, not his. I had claimed that the most beautiful thing was a soul completely surrendered before him, but yet I had ignored the beauty of that one soul from Chase, and I chased after manifestations of God, to see him move in our camp over many people. And i realised finally that, the camp had been a great success. Me, who has wantd to be a vessel of God, even as my singapore cell goes on outreach missions, to learn as well to evangelise to others and impact their lives to God, had made a difference. I had been foolish and stupid and I had wanted to do everything within a day, moving multitudes of people. But God has once again humbled me, and showed me that it is by his strength, not mine, and it is in accodance to his will, and not mine, that I do what I do, and that my labours bear fruit in accordance to what he wills, and that i should be satisfied. Out of those hundreds of people, he chose to work through me. What more could i ask for?
It turns out that there was just yet another miracle in store, as i went to dinner with Chase that night when coming back to the city. She shared about how she was facing depression and how it was a daily struggle for her, and how she had come back to Christ and rediscovered him and his direction for her life once again in the camp. She had foud direction in her life once again. And i had prayed all the right things for her that night, without knowing it.
Our God truely is an awesome God.
On a side note, I went horseback riding and my horse decided to stop in the middle of the road and pee! hahahah.
The horse was superfunandawesomeee =))
-J
Tc and Godbless!
Joel decides to updatee and praise God for a lovely testimony he has created in my life.
Lately, Ive been to an eastercamp!!
In coonawarra!!
not that you guys know where that is.
Anyway, some background details
1) I was asked to cell lead in the camp
2) Its an OverseasChristianFellowship Camp where different OCF centers all around victoria, Australia come together for a God focused camp.
3) Chase is not a real name, it is to keep my friend's name in confidence.
So heres how the story goes... ...
I guess at first I was so focused on wanting to be a good leader, and some1 who could just give and make an impact on the lives of my group members that I forgot to go to camp with an expectant heart, one where i wanted to recieve from God.
So, when during center sharing they were like. Joel, what are you expecting to get out of this camp, I was like... huhhhh... ermmm.. i dont know??
Lol.
So i decided to refocus myself on God instead of the people in my group, afterall, how could God impact lives through me if I was the one trying to impact lives and not let him work through me?
And i realised that thats what i really wanted from God in this camp, to see him working through me to touch the lives of others, and to see him just move so strongly in the camp.
But as i looked around, I realised something so different from the easter camp i had back in 2007 when i was in trinity.
These people had gotten so comfortable, so cold towards God.
They werent completely surrendering themselves to God, moving out of their comfort zones to just praise him.
And that prevented him from moving in our midst.
This reallyreally frustrated me, because they paid money to come to this camp, they came all the way to move away from the hustle and bustle of life to just spend time alone with God and in the end, they arent going the full way to want to see God move.
It was so bad, it sharted to affect my own experience with God, along with a bunch of other burdens I carried during that camp.
Then on the second day, my friend Jeremy, last min asked me to help him to backup sing on stage.
I was like.. ohhh ok....
but inside i was super scared... my voice isnt really the best in the world. and itll be like.. my first time on stage singing in front of so many people.
But praise God, everything went smoothly, as we just focused on God and not the people around the room. There were a couple of hiccups but nothing major and everyone said we did a good job afterwards.
Then came center sharing on the second night. And as i shared with my friends about my frustrations with how people were holding back, and refusing to move out to give themselves fully to God, I was struck by my own inhibitions when i was on stage. And i revised my statement, telling my friends that I ad no right to feel angry at them, because I guess, I also experienced what they did, having to try and move out of my comfort zone to 'perform' in front of so many people.
So, I guess i grew more desperate for God, and, especially on the night of ministry (3rd night) during praise and worship, I just completely surrendered myself to God. I decided not to focus on how the people were not surrendering themselves, and focus on him himself. That just made me surrender myself even more. And it was a beautiful beautiful thing, because that spread to a few others around me as well. Then we were called to pray for one another, so I got hold of my friend beside me, Chase, and started to just pray for her.. I knew that God had put her beside me for a reason. I prayed for total surrender, and for God to just be the center of our focus. But we hadnt finished praying yet when the next song started to play, Hosanna. So we just continued to support each other and held on to one another as we sang with all our hearts.
And after a few minutes, she fell to her knees, crying.
I guess, even then i didnt know what to do, I was like, should i pray for her, or should i just continue in worship?
So i just laid my hands on her, to show i was there to support her, but i just continued in worship... And again and again i felt prompted to pray for her.. but i resisted, just like jonah resisted and ran from God's call for him.
But the promptings kept coming, and, when some1 came over to her, I felt guilty that I hadnt prayed for her and now some1 else would.
But that person just offered her a tissue, and left.
And i was stunned. So i took the opportunity, and finally went to pray with her.
And i knew just the right words to say, I prayed for breakthrough, for our biggest tragedy to become our biggest victory, for God to make a way where there seems to be no way, I prayed using psalms 23, I prayed for his omnipresence and his always being with us and carrying us through our trials and temptations. And I prayed and thanked God for the beauty of the complete surrender of her soul to him.
Later on, I saw that not many people had been moved by God, and many had become bored with prayer and had moved outside to go out of it. And again I was displeased.
On the bus going back home, I sat next to a friend called JoonHui, and as he started to talk to me about his experience with camp, and how it was such a blessing to him and how he treasured it because it may not have been great, but it was still something, because he had been running from God for manymany years prior to this, I was struck by his testimony, and i was ashamed at how selfish I was. I expected things from God that he chose not to do. I had prayed for him to move into the camp even when people had hardened their hearts, and i had been disappointed whe they had not, I had focused on my wll, not his. I had claimed that the most beautiful thing was a soul completely surrendered before him, but yet I had ignored the beauty of that one soul from Chase, and I chased after manifestations of God, to see him move in our camp over many people. And i realised finally that, the camp had been a great success. Me, who has wantd to be a vessel of God, even as my singapore cell goes on outreach missions, to learn as well to evangelise to others and impact their lives to God, had made a difference. I had been foolish and stupid and I had wanted to do everything within a day, moving multitudes of people. But God has once again humbled me, and showed me that it is by his strength, not mine, and it is in accodance to his will, and not mine, that I do what I do, and that my labours bear fruit in accordance to what he wills, and that i should be satisfied. Out of those hundreds of people, he chose to work through me. What more could i ask for?
It turns out that there was just yet another miracle in store, as i went to dinner with Chase that night when coming back to the city. She shared about how she was facing depression and how it was a daily struggle for her, and how she had come back to Christ and rediscovered him and his direction for her life once again in the camp. She had foud direction in her life once again. And i had prayed all the right things for her that night, without knowing it.
Our God truely is an awesome God.
On a side note, I went horseback riding and my horse decided to stop in the middle of the road and pee! hahahah.
The horse was superfunandawesomeee =))
-J
Tc and Godbless!
what we could have been, 8:31 PM.
