Tuesday, January 24, 2012
hi all :)
just wanted to share with you guys my life some stuff ive reflected during crux about the past 2 years (its wordy.. just skip to the reflection part if you want)
when i was young , so veeryy young
So actually, i was born in a christian family , and i stayed in china for a few years when i was younger .My mom didnt force me to go church or anything so at that time , i dont think i went to church or anything , i cant really remember ... but at that point i really didnt know about god or anything. GOD was completely foreign to me.
so as a child, i didnt go for bible study nor did i go for sunday school.so i was completely blank
Primary School
When i came back during my primary school years,i went to another church's children ministry and i didn't know anyone there, or knew anything they were talking about. because of that, i actually thought that church was so boring and i didnt like it, or even wanted to go.I didnt even BELIEVE it. I would take any opportunity not to go to church.
Secondary school
When i was in secondary school,my mom wanted me to go to church for some reasons .my church didnt have a youth service so i went to the adult service with my parents (my brother moved to westly church with his friends),there, i felt completely out of place . i just didnt like it , i couldnt relate, couldnt understand.It just felt so annoying, moreover i was being forced to go.
At that point i completely drifted away from god, i wouldnt go to church or anything. i would just believe in myself and myself alone. there was no god to me.
Then came my upper secondary school life, which was filled with struggles and lots of tears .
At that point of time i was really struggling with school work and i felt so stressed up.my grades were becoming lower and i completely did not know what to do.
My mom realised that that church wasnt really helping me nor did i felt anything from it. so we went to lighthouse(around 2nd 1/2 of the year?),hearing the service there was actually very good. there we met joel (we knew him last time when our family went to china i think ) and he invited me to cell and speedlight.It was there did i really started to know about christ and started believing in god.
And then there was 2011 . N level year. Because of last year, i felt i really needed to listen more in class and such. in that year, many things happened . and even though they did, i was able to carry on without much of a struggle (thank god, will elaborate later).
The reflection
Crux was my first church camp that i attended and i thought that it was a really good journey.It really made me reflect on my past years and how my relation with god was. During the camp i think i could really feel his pressence and i felt a lot lighter. previously i was just carry everything myself , but during and after the camp, i felt so much more free.
During the sharing, i also realised that god had really blessed me throughout the years , even when i didnt believe in him.
its just so amazing,how god was willing to wait for me,even if its a few years, and that , he never forsake me.
so i want to thank him for
- Waiting for me, even though i had forsaken him for so long.
- Guiding me along when i didnt believe in him
- Showing me i didnt have to walk alone anymore
- Wanting to save me
- Showing me more about myself through experiences ( eg how i was overconfident in s3 and made my results drop like crazy --> until 2nd half of the year )
- Strengthening me in those experiences
- Overcoming the struggles (esp s4 when i had to redo half my dnt journal after half a year)
- Blessing me with good N level results i wouldnt think was possible (all glory to god )
- My dad who was diagnosed with diabetes last year, and is doing pretty well now
- My family
- My friends
- a lot a lot more
And of course... You guys! >:D
and i wanted to say , if you really cant feel God's pressence and is spirtually dry that -
After so many years , He never forsake me, and he wont forsake you !
Praise the lord
-Roxanne
just wanted to share with you guys my life some stuff ive reflected during crux about the past 2 years (its wordy.. just skip to the reflection part if you want)
when i was young , so veeryy young
So actually, i was born in a christian family , and i stayed in china for a few years when i was younger .My mom didnt force me to go church or anything so at that time , i dont think i went to church or anything , i cant really remember ... but at that point i really didnt know about god or anything. GOD was completely foreign to me.
so as a child, i didnt go for bible study nor did i go for sunday school.so i was completely blank
Primary School
When i came back during my primary school years,i went to another church's children ministry and i didn't know anyone there, or knew anything they were talking about. because of that, i actually thought that church was so boring and i didnt like it, or even wanted to go.I didnt even BELIEVE it. I would take any opportunity not to go to church.
Secondary school
When i was in secondary school,my mom wanted me to go to church for some reasons .my church didnt have a youth service so i went to the adult service with my parents (my brother moved to westly church with his friends),there, i felt completely out of place . i just didnt like it , i couldnt relate, couldnt understand.It just felt so annoying, moreover i was being forced to go.
At that point i completely drifted away from god, i wouldnt go to church or anything. i would just believe in myself and myself alone. there was no god to me.
Then came my upper secondary school life, which was filled with struggles and lots of tears .
At that point of time i was really struggling with school work and i felt so stressed up.my grades were becoming lower and i completely did not know what to do.
My mom realised that that church wasnt really helping me nor did i felt anything from it. so we went to lighthouse(around 2nd 1/2 of the year?),hearing the service there was actually very good. there we met joel (we knew him last time when our family went to china i think ) and he invited me to cell and speedlight.It was there did i really started to know about christ and started believing in god.
And then there was 2011 . N level year. Because of last year, i felt i really needed to listen more in class and such. in that year, many things happened . and even though they did, i was able to carry on without much of a struggle (thank god, will elaborate later).
The reflection
Crux was my first church camp that i attended and i thought that it was a really good journey.It really made me reflect on my past years and how my relation with god was. During the camp i think i could really feel his pressence and i felt a lot lighter. previously i was just carry everything myself , but during and after the camp, i felt so much more free.
During the sharing, i also realised that god had really blessed me throughout the years , even when i didnt believe in him.
its just so amazing,how god was willing to wait for me,even if its a few years, and that , he never forsake me.
so i want to thank him for
- Waiting for me, even though i had forsaken him for so long.
- Guiding me along when i didnt believe in him
- Showing me i didnt have to walk alone anymore
- Wanting to save me
- Showing me more about myself through experiences ( eg how i was overconfident in s3 and made my results drop like crazy --> until 2nd half of the year )
- Strengthening me in those experiences
- Overcoming the struggles (esp s4 when i had to redo half my dnt journal after half a year)
- Blessing me with good N level results i wouldnt think was possible (all glory to god )
- My dad who was diagnosed with diabetes last year, and is doing pretty well now
- My family
- My friends
- a lot a lot more
And of course... You guys! >:D
and i wanted to say , if you really cant feel God's pressence and is spirtually dry that -
The LORD himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged.”
After so many years , He never forsake me, and he wont forsake you !
Praise the lord
-Roxanne
Labels: GOD FTW, praise Him forever, TO GOD BE THE GLORY
what we could have been, 11:29 PM.
